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Tuesday, January 10, 2006


Stealing things is easy.
You just have to look for the window of opportunity.
And then jammy it open.
Sleight of hand doesn't come into it as much as you'd think. If they can't catch you, you can fumble and bungle as much as you like. Tubes are the best. Pile in during rush hour - Piccadilly line Eastbound: ie away from Heathrow. Shove your way into the corner, where the nicely labelled, security checked baggage is sat. Then just get off at the next stop with it.
Chances are the owners will be foreigners anyway and they won't have the savvy to pull the emergency chord. They'll be too busy studying the tube map and planning their route to notice nine times out of ten. And even if they see you, they won't get off the tube in time to stop you.
Better yet, follow your target into a station toilet. There's not a lot a man with his dick in his hand can do to stop you picking up the bag by his feet and walking out, up and away with it. What are they going to do? Chase after you, hosing the platform with piss?
That's what he said to me. Mind you, he didn't seem to be making a much of a living off it. I guess there's only so far you can go off the back of other people's dirty underwear and hotel towels.


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